I don't understand why she's madly in love with him...

my cousin loves this guy. i know because i can see it in her but i don't think this guy is suitable for her. i don't think he will make her a better person. sometimes i feel that i am such a hypocrite. i smile at him whenever he sees me but deep inside i feel sorry for my cousin because she's madly in love with him. i know that i shouldn't be interfering with their love lives but i just feel so concerned for my cousin. she's always scolded for going home late what's worse is she went home late because she came by her boyfriend's house. i know that he cares for her but what i don't understand is his concern for her is not consistent. he gets jealous easily but when she catches him somehow flirting with someone else, he doesn't see my cousin screaming about it. i don't think he loves her because he finds it easy to break up with her. he always says that to my cousin whenever they have a problem. it seems like he is so ready to leave her. it's as if he already has someone new.

But what can i do? i'm just a person outside their relationship.

I Admit I Am Wrong

It's my fault
I shouldn't blame others for my mistakes
I did them so i have to suffer the consequences

what will be is just the product of what i am doing now
for everything happens for a reason

the future id the product of the present
while the present if the product of the past

i hate it when i know i am doing something wrong
and yet i still continue on doing it...

i hope i get over this SOON

My Fears in Life

I am afraid...

1. of a drunk person

2. of failing grades?

3. of ghosts even though i haven't seen one

4. of my parents(ehehe)

5. of rejection

6. of embarrassment

7. of fake friends('coz they are difficult to trace.. haha)

8. of people older than me

9. of LIARS..

10. of the devil

11. of being thought of as JOLOGS(ahehe)

12. of love(in a way)

13. of backstabbers

14. of realizing that i don't know myself at all

15. of doing something that would break my parents' hearts(again)

16. of setting a bad example

17. of tomorrow

18. to know what lies ahead

19. of the future

20. to give my best because i might end up being hurt

21. to be a failure

22. of telling what i feel because i know that at some point i would hurt/break someone and/or something.

23. to show how much i care because some might get the wrong idea

24. of being too happy

25. of being me because I might be an embarrassment to my friends and family

26. of giving my fullest potential because in the end, my best might not be good enough

...but despite all that

i am not too afraid to tell you that i have a God.

i don't think he will help me because i KNOW he will...

i KNOW that in my darkest times he will let me shine and will not leave me alone.

i hold his promise that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

i hope you will feel his spirit move within you too...

~=♥pAu-cHii♥=~